Thursday, October 6, 2011

what i do all day

This morning I was talking with hubby about groceries. "I will probably end up running to Walmart today if you need anything." "Why?" "Well, we're almost out of bread...we're just about out of need deodorant..." (This last item was something he actually requested a few days ago, not a commentary on my part.)

We have recently gone from weekly pay to twice-a-month pay. Talk about nuts. It's crazy how long it's taken to get back on our feet from switching our schedule. In that process, we're also trying to go grocery shopping less. We have a BJ's membership but never use it, but are planning to now, so that we can make fewer trips. That means buying more at once (obviously), but that also comes with deeper planning.

So we sat and talked about snack foods, and how many granola bars per day we would need, etc.

My husband BUILDS LISTS at work. My husband does LEAD GENERATION. These are big words and big ideas. He throws around terms and abbreviations that I have no idea what they mean. (I also don't ask. I'm grateful I've learned how to take the context.)

Meanwhile, I throw around terms like "12-count box" and "non-fat milk powder." (This last one scared hubby, but I told him it's for the bread machine. Then he was okay. But it came with a stern warning.)

I started trying to explain to him how I feel sometimes when I have to go over this stuff with him. Not all the time, but if I'm in a particularly vulnerable mood, or if I'm quiet enough to hear my undercurrent of thoughts while talking, I can admit that I feel inferior at these times. He has stress at work, and the things he does there are miles away from any kind of home happenings. And if he needs to not think about home while working, in order to concentrate, so be it. His job is not to do both jobs at once. That's what he has me for. You'd think that would make me feel important. And I do. Still...

Sitting with me and doing the math of "how many granola bars come in a box?" "8...or 12." "Probably should go with the 12." "Yeah, I do" is not, I imagine, how he'd choose to spend his 6AM hour. I told him, I feel like he thinks that kind of conversation is pithy. boring. mundane.

And maybe it is.

But it's still important. I need to know when he won't be home for dinner. I need to know how fast we'll go through a case of toilet paper. I need to know the ratio between when the away soccer game bus says they'll get back to when they will actually get back. I need to make rules like "one granola bar per day." I need to know where the crayons are that will fit in the spiral of my 2yo's handy-dandy notebook. (Can you say crisis?!?!)

And here's a reminder to me, and anyone else who's identifying: these things ARE important.

They are vitally important to the success and smooth running of our households. The conversations might be mundane to our very hard-working hubbies. But that doesn't mean they think them unimportant. It's just not their job. So the pride is ours to take in our work. We're growing little people, after all.

What odd-to-the-world-outside-of-mommihood things do you find yourself in charge of? Is there anything you do during the day that makes you say, "you know...if I wrote a book...this would totally go in it..."?


  1. You are so right -- it is important. What an encouraging post!

  2. keep telling me this, because I need to hear it.

  3. My things right now:
    What is that gunk on the mirror (closet door, windows, etc) and who put it there?

    What is so hard about emptying and loading the dishwasher that causes the dishes to sit on my counter?

    How do I get my child to follow the "1 granola bar" rule before I get home?

    Why would my child find a way into a locked house and then listen to the sibling say they should stay outside and lock the door, because all the doors were locked? (I've pretty much narrowed that one down to the fact they just wanted an excuse to play with friends before parents were home...)

    Oh - and why do the papers from school requesting money come home all on the same day?

    (I know I'd have a lot more if I were home during the day... The rest of mine right now are questions about the "huh?"s of work... That's for another day! :) )


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